I feel fat. I don't like feeling fat.
In my mid 30's, I loved the gym, loved to exercise, food had no control over me. I ate to fuel my body. I loved the way my clothes fit. I felt strong and healthy and in control.
Between now and then, I switched jobs twice and had to assume care of my ailing mother until she passed away. The time I once devoted to exercise and a healthy lifestyle went away. Even after my mother passed away, I had a very long commute, 4 hours a day. I didn't have time to spend at the gym....the routine has never returned. The LOVE for working out has been elusive. Food has more stronghold on me that I ever thought it would.
I tried over the past year and half to get back into going to the gym. One gym closed, I switched to an all woman gym, who then switched out the weights to a new type of machines, which I hated. I also was working out with a partner on a regular basis, which actually ended up being more stressful me. I work out a certain way that always showed results and I wasn't able, in my mind, to really push myself, especially with the change out of the more traditional equipment.
Man...this is getting long.
Bottom line...I need to find a way to put some balance in my life in the area of health. Do I want to be the gym rat I was? Not really. Do I want to lose 15 pounds. Yes. I need to find a "trick" to get me back to the mindset of food as fuel. I just want to be healthier - it's not about having a body that people will admire anymore - which it was in the past.
I wonder where that healthy girl is hiding?
Work and home are stressful for me these days....Work is more demanding...home....ds moved back in - and it's disrupted my "routine".